My Story. Pt. I

Hi, My name is Alexander Bobby Wijaya, in case you didn't know my full name.

Name that my parents gave me, so remember if you're making fun of someone's name in a mean spirit, you're disrespecting the people who gave them.

I write these series of notes because there's been an event I went through, and I found that most people are getting the wrong impression of what I'm trying to achieve. I feel the need to explain myself.

Why do I go and have the trouble of doing this ? Because even though we should NOT judge a book by its cover, some people really does it. I knew someone, who literally judged a book by its cover. Other than this, I just want to share, and I hope from these notes you can get something positive, or at least, entertained.

So, first thing you have to know about me. I consider myself an equalizer. - or I often act like one

Ketika banyak orang overjoyed karena terjadi sesuatu, I smiled once, and pull them all back to the ground. It's not fun, I didn't enjoy it, tapi ketika kita terlalu bergembira, pada banyak waktu akan membuat kita menjadi lengah, bercanda terlalu "asik", dan berakhir terluka. Ketika kita terlalu bergembira, we let our defenses down, dan gw sendiri mengalami beberapa keadaan "overjoyed" yang berakhir ga enak.

And because of this, a LOT of people say that "gw ga asik". Fair comment. To a certain extent, it's true.

Sebaliknya, ketika orang-orang bersedih, keadaan lagi ga enak, or fairly awkward situation where most people in the room is dead silent, I turn the fun button. You may punish yourselves severely for the things that had happened, but change will happen if you have a bit of hope inside. I try to instill that hope.

And because of this, a LOT MORE people say "ah, you're the best", "wow, you really cared for me", "you're the most optimistic person I've ever known." etc. I don't want to go overboard.

I've grown to say the things I need to say, even though people may not like it, to equalize conditions.

Let me take you back to my childhood.

When I was on 2nd grade, there was this classic school bully. His name was Samuel. I remembered him because, because even though he was such an assh*le, his actions led me to stand up and made me a better man.

Gw inget bagaimana uang jajan gw diambil paksa, bagaimana tiap hari gw takut ke St. Paula utk sekolah karena dia sama sekali ga takut main fisik (He was the boy with the biggest body, I was -and still am- a fairly small, skinny kid) Gw masih inget bagaimana dia selalu sukses bikin gw nangis karena, well, he's a bully.

I befriended this chubby, geeky, but really sweet girl. Honestly, I forgot her name. But thanks to Samuel, I can never forgot her.

I was pretty close with the girl, one time, I even said to my dad that I feel like she's a big sister to me. Whenever I cried, she was there calming me down. Whenever big Sam took away my break time snack, she gave me some candies that she brought from home.

One day, after school, Samuel decided to went overboard and bullied a girl, you guessed it, he messed her up.

The girl who I a considered my big sister. He called her a "fat pig", and well, physically hurt her.

She cried and cried, and I was there, watching from a distance.

When I walk towards her, trying to do stuff she'd always do when I cried, she gave me the look, the eyes, that til' this very day I can never forget. A look that says "why didn't you do something ?!" She got up wiped the tears herself, and went home before I even got the chance to say anything. The next day, and the day afterwards, she spoke to me only if she really needed to.

From that day, an anger began to grow inside me.

So, we got to 3rd grade, she went to another school. I was still at St.Paula, feeling lonelier than I've ever been.

Big Sam was still the bully that he is, though I cry less often because I was getting used to it.

Then one lonely day, after school, I was thinking about her and big Sam decided to pull my ear.

Her eyes, that look, glanced in my mind and I screamed and shoved him as hard as I could to a cupboard in the class, it broke the hinges.

Next day, big Sam got his parents to came down to the school. And I was never the same. (Hey, at least I never had my parents came over to talk for me getting bullied)

Years passed, I went back to St. Caroline, dan sejak saat itu setiap kali ada seorang bully di sekolah gangguin seseorang, gw selalu bertindak. Mungkin tidak selalu dengan kekuatan fisik gw, karena tetep gw cowo paling mungil, tapi sering gw sprint ke ruang guru en ngadu sejujur-jujurnya kalo menjadi saksi terjadinya bullying.

I consider myself a hero. Even though, the truth is I got arrogant, I wasn't.

I became a bully's bully. Percayalah, SD-SMP banyak temen2 yang ngajak gw ribut. (So now you know why I took TaeKwonDo and Karate back then) Either karena gw bales perkataan mereka yang nyakitin dengan perkataan yang lebih menyakitkan, atau karena gw arogan.

Percayalah, I got very arrogant to a point that my older brothers humbled me. Both of them kicked my ass, literally.

I learned that I have to use this "ability" to a certain, select boys with the specific intent to hurt others.

So now you know why I'm not very gentle to, well, male. As weird as it sounds.

And obviously why sometimes I seemed to be a playboy (or kata mantan gw, menel =p) because I try to be very gentle, nice and protective to every female I know.

The Best Selling Book in the world (and most shop-lifted too) tells us to treat younger women as our little sisters, and the older women as mothers, that's what I'm doing.

It is my mentality to bully a bully, especially if the victim's defenseless, more especially, if a guy tries to hurt a girl, physically or mentally.

And most especially, if someone tries to hurt the ones I love.

Believe me, I had a nunchaku ready when three tough guys claiming to be cops used some nasty words on my mom.

Believe me, I was ready to punch a guy who first threatened to punch my aunt.

As "evil" as I am, I'm as nice as Barney (the purple dinosaur, not the legen-waitforit-dary one) to kids, as gentle as I can be towards the opposite sex. As much as I love to fight, I have a tender side I'm not cool enough to hide, ask my mother, she and I argued when on my 21st birthday I wanted to do something "big", and wanted to be a liver donor for baby Bilqis. True story. Ask her.

I am an equalizer.

The misfortunes I had when I was a kid, made me an equalizer.

I hate bullies and people who hurt others only for their amusement, I hate their conducts with a passion.

I am a bully's bully.

Of course, I grew up. I let go TKD and Karate because it only helped fueling my aggresiveness. I took up Aikido because I learned that it teaches purely self defense techniques for self preservation rather than teaching me some striking or punching, or kicking techniques to defend (see the irony ?), and I recently started to learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu cuz' I think it's effective for small guys like myself (not to mention it's AWESOMELY COOL)

Dan tiap kali ada temen yang dikata2in karena yang ngata2in cuma mau ngata2in, I do my best to tell the victim otherwise. Bahkan kadang gw jawabin balik tuh preman kampung, kalo dia sudah sangat amat keterlaluan tentunya.

The equalizer folks.

*bows, exit stage.*

Better Than You

Posted on March 15, 2006 by Raven at Raven Rants

You see them everywhere you go. The people that blaze through four way stops, the jerks that cut in line at the movie theater, the morons that intentionally take up two parking spaces at the mall and the fools who thrash around their lives without a care for what impact they might have on others.

While everyone makes mistakes and, on a planet with six billion people, we're going to adversely affect those around us, some among us take it to a whole new level. They are either so negligent, or even malicious, that their acts are a conscious disregard for others. This goes beyond a lack of compassion or the absence of empathy and shuns all convictions and morals aside.

When you see these people, take a moment to look into their eyes. You'll see something truly unique. When you stare down into the pit of their souls, you'll see that they believe they're better than you. They seem themselves as a superior life form and yourself, along with those around you, are just insects waiting to be stomped.

With this form of imagined superiority comes a sense of entitlement, and that is where things go wrong. These people not only believe that they are better than the world, but that the world owes them something. Be it the color of their skin, the way they grew up, the money in their pocket or just something inside them, they feel that they are entitled to better treatment and they will take it if necessary.

That sense of entitlement is what leads to their downfall. Nature, as luck would have it, doesn't possess and entitlement clause. Those who think that they are owed something might be able to take it from time to time, but will never really be able to possess it. Those who believe they deserve something, for no other reason than who they are, are incapable of working for it and earning it.

And in there lies the bitter truth. All men are created equal, but they don't always stay that way. Some of us work hard, achieve great things and make something of our lives. Those who do that, for the most part at least, learn humility and invest themselves emotionally into ideas of justice and equality.

Others feel entitled; they do nothing, achieve nothing and, instead, leech off society. These are the ones who feel superior, the ones who achieve the least, offer nothing to the world and, instead, only flex their supposed superiority by taking that which does not belong to them.

In the end, it's their very sense of superiority that prevents them, not just from becoming better people, but from becoming anything at all. They can't plow the fields in the kingdom they believe themselves to rule, thus, they never make anything grow.

Their accomplishments are fantasies and society, let alone nature, will not favor these fools. They are doomed by their own delusions and will feel the wrath soon.

So when wronged in such a manner, try to let it go. If it was an honest mistake, it will not be repeated and, if it's someone taking what does not belong to them through a feeling of entitlement, they will feel their own demise soon enough.

For nature is cruel to those who don't earn their keep and nothing you can do will ever be able to compete with the very forces that keep evolution going.

This is the first time I've ever posted someone else's post in my blog. I like it that much.

One at a Time.

Couple of months ago, when I was looking for the month's edition of Reader Digest Asia (read them! They're lifesavers =p) in PlaNgi, I overheard a mother telling her daughter to learn how to read before she wants to buy any books. Honestly, it cracked a smile. You know, when I was a child, my parents used to tell me to learn to do something before actually doing what I wanted to do -- I believe the readers here, too were told. Whenever that happens I usually sigh a little in the back, denying all the things they say, believing that I am capable to do it.

When I was a little kid, I knew everything about the world, the more I grow up, the more I have no knowledge about it.

One example that happened in recent times, was about parking the family's car. I really only have a couple lessons in parking, I am not good at it. But, meh, I CAN DO EVERYTHING !!! XD

So took the car away several times, parked them good everytime. I think it was the sixth time when I really screw it up. The ledge towards my house's garage is to steep, at times I found it a bit difficult, and in my defense, there was a car honking to pass through, and so I think "I'd do this in one sweep !".

The ending, I smashed the passenger's side of the car to the garage door.

Don't ask me about how I talked it through with my mum, it ain't beautiful. But since I am a lawyer-will-be, I talked it through anyway. =p

Lesson learned, even in my 20s.

We all want to know everything, in order to be "more". It's human nature to be so.

We want more.

We want everything.

An ambitious friend wrote something on her note once, I accidentally got a glimpse of it.

It reads "you can have everything, you just can't have everything at once."

Guess she learned her lesson.

So, take it from me. Take it one at a time, folks. ;)

Mr.Tire-Patcher

About 2 months ago, when I was riding home from my study, the rear tire of my bike suddenly lost its pressure. I was in the middle of Sudirman Street when it happened, really thought I was screwed, cuz' on a road this "elite", there wouldn't be any tire fixers around.. Or so I thought to myself.

I start walking my bike until the furthest intersection, and whaddya know ? There's one sitting by on the sidewalk. So, I ask him to check it. I was hoping that it would only be a loss of pressure, but no, a spike came piercing through. The tires tube was already been patched a couple of times, and there's a thread of steel that came out of the tire itself (stupid Honda QC, if I'd been a little more enthusiast I'd ask for a new tire...)

The guy was grumpy at first, I really wouldn't mess around, he LOOKS like he can kill. To my surprise he was supportive about the problem, he even pulled the spike out (which was really in a hard place, I couldn't reach it with even my tiny fingers). Well, in the event of ice-breaking, I tried to chat with him. Again, grumpy at first, he'd answer uninterested, without looking at me. But as we were both waiting on the side for my tire to be ready, he began to be friendlier. He'd ask where I from, and so on and so forth. Then I ask all about him.

It was heartbreaking really. He told me that he doesn't have a home here, that he stayed in a room rented for Rp 300.000, a month --he'd make a maximum of Rp 20.000, a day. That the ojek riders on the intersection would make him patch without actually paying it. All of the depressing stuff.

You know, you could help so much to someone just by listening to their problems.

As we chatted, I start asking about his family, and believe me when I say, it's the first smile that came out on the guy's face, a wonderful one. He told me that he's expecting his first child, that he had been faithful waiting one in his 8 year marriage.

I hadn't have the chance to continue the chat, since my tire was ready at the time, but I can tell you this. The guy's a fighter. To have survived Jakarta in -- years, with that kind of job. I'd give a standing ovation if the guy's a performer. The guy had really changed from his grumpy, murder-looking face to this wonderful, would-be father.

So, impressed already with the story of his life, he installed the tube back on the the tire, and gave his final touch to it, swept the rims a nice and clean. I became really impressed then, so impressed that I decided to gave him Rp 50.000 I saved to be the week's bank saving. He actually refused it first; saying that it's too much for his services, but I made him took it anyway.

Now, if only our government, all echelons, even all Indonesian people have that same spirit and work ethos. I can only see good things happening.

(De)generation Y

I've been pushed to think about juvenile delinquency this this past week. Starting with my visit to my elementary and junior high. With all the nostalgic thoughts I went and chat with some of my old teachers, and particularly with my 6th grade teacher. It's been awhile since my last visit, about two years ago. Things have more or so changed. The building is now better painted, better equipped. The teachers too, are faithful staying in the school, one of them is the teacher.

On and on we talked about the past and the present, to the point that we compared them. She told me that the best class she taught is ours -- It was her first class when she started teaching in St.Caroline. She also told me that our juniors are getting more and more uninterested in studying. There are many which caused this, and one of the main thing is the internet, particularly online games. She frowns upon hearing her students talking more about Warcraft DoTA, Seal, and many other game titles than about their falling grades.

Okay, maybe it is a bit "nerdy", if you say so, but I thought about it, and I agree. Of course, in my younger days we don't always talk about grades and school subjects, but we talked about other things too, say cartoon for instance. In my days, Sunday televisions still show A LOT of cartoons and kids show. I could get up at 5 in the morning and watch Ultraman believing in hope and kicking an alien's ass, and continue watching Doraemon teaching Nobita about life, until just before midday to see Power Rangers team-working to beat a terror in a form of gigantic monster. Nowadays, I got up at 10 once, and see gossip shows on a national television.

Whether you agree or not, it MADE us.

I used to make a bet with my best buddy when we were at 5-6th grade, Rp.500 for whoever gets the higher score in a test. I doubt kids do that nowadays. Yeah, maybe it's a just a chump-change, but even then we were competing for something more than the Rp.500, it was a competition to BE BETTER.
Our parents used to think it's bad to play video games at a friend's house so often, but when I think of the future, I'd prefer my children to do the same, rather than going to an internet cafe playing online games, they could be a subject of MANYMANYMANY bad influences there.

Guess what ? Our generation's degenerating also. The Merriam-Webster Online defines it as "to sink into a low intellectual or moral state". Yesterday I attended Law Faculty's Students Representative meeting. What was going on there only made me like Captain Picard up there.

Honestly, the meet wasn't well prepared, there were many things that had to be questioned. It wasn't just the comittee, the participants were also "morally low". Yes, they got some good points about what they object, but half the time it'd be someone commenting and objecting on something pointless.

I always believe that a part of exposing a problem is also to try and provide the solution. I honestly don't know their motive when they did that yesterday, was it to look smart, or did it really bother them that much.

I'm reading a book by Eric Fromm, The Heart of Man. It's about human capacity to hate, to destroy, basically, to do everything that is opposite of love. It was in the 1964 when he finished the book, but one statement caught my eye. In the foreword, he stated that "...the present-day mood of violence which is manifested in juvenile delinquency...", I thought for a while, and a bit amazed that the same problem is still around, even maybe getting worse.

In my mind, juvenile delinquency is not only when a child is disobedient to his/her parents advice or when it is only criminal law violation, but when a kid rides a motorcycle without a riding license (most times with no helmet too), when students got in a fight, when a minor smokes, when there's bullying, when a minor smokes in a non-smoking area (duh..).

I had classmates from my elementary who you could say is a bully. You know those cliché stories about bullies being unsuccesful later in their life ? Guess what, they are true. One of the bully gets jail time. He ended up being a drug courier. The other one, went away from home because he lost in a bet (I heard he had to pay Rp.13 million).

Cliché stuff become a cliché because they happen very often.

In the end, I just wanna say, look out for our friends, younger siblings and juniors.

Give them a hand when they nearly slip off the edge.

We could be heroes.

-Bee

The First Post..~

Hi !
This is Alexander Bobby Wijaya, or in this blog, "Bee". I promised myself and a friend that I'd make my own blog, soon as I get my own laptop. (well, I got a netbook actually, it's pretty much the same)

First things first, about the reason I start writing this, is, well I love to write. =p
I've started writing about 3 years ago, but really, I only got less than a hundred entries in my own journal. Honestly, I tend to procrastinate, and ended up NOT writing, the stuff that I should've written.

See, I just did it.
I should've post this blog a month ago, but I guess I have no choice. Recently I've been busy with my campus life, as well as my church life. So please excuse moi.

Second, for me writing a blog gives me many positive points. I've read an article that says people are getting worse on literacy, that most people now are -basically- can't read, and one of the cause for it is that people write less. (or worse, they don't). Writing also gives you a chance to communicate. What we wrote are our point of views in things that happen in our everyday life. It is a medium between one to another. Put it simply, we could speak our mind.

Last but not least. Life is short.
Japan is one of the top countries that has a high life expectancy ratio, according to the wikipedia, 82,6 years. Their culture, philosophy, and environment are only supporting their long life. In contrast, our beloved country of Indonesia, has only 70,7 years of average life expectancy, and with no good environment, lack of cultural and philosophical appreciation that is shown by so many negative phenomenons happened in the country would only make it less.

Writing can be your legacy.

I believe most of my generation have read Harry Potter, and on one book (I think it's the second) the author wrote that Lord Voldemort had written a journal to (literally) live forever. I don't know if it's the author's intent to somehow tell the readers what I tell you now, but when we are no longer in this world, what we've experienced, could be our contribution to the next generation, so they could vicariously learn what we've experienced. As our first president famously said, and I quote "JAS MERAH !" (Jangan lupakan sejarah --Don't forget the past)

I believe that if Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and all other great thinkers did not write then, we'd be a lesser human now.

Well, I think that's enough for the introduction, I hope you can enjoy a slice of my mind. ;)

-Bee